Christopher McNee: My Concussion Story
My name is Christopher McNee, but I’ve mostly gone by Chris my whole life. I have had 17 concussions to date. Mix that with diagnosed PTSD from combat operations throughout my 25 year Army career and you have the perfect storm.
I was born in Toronto, Ontario, but grew up in what is now known as Brampton (it was called Bramalea at one time). My first concussion that I can recall happened when I was around 8 years old. I was accidentally struck in the head with an aluminum baseball bat. I still recall experiencing one of the most painful headaches of my life that night - nausea, dizziness and no sleep. Little did I know that at the time, I was experiencing my first migraine. I experienced my second pre-army concussion when I was swimming backstroke and misjudged the distance to the wall and swam into it. It was painful, but not as bad as the baseball bat.
Since I failed second grade and had a very difficult time in high school, I decided to join the army at age 17. If you have ADHD and are fit, the army is the place for you! Being 17 years old and becoming an infantry soldier was the ultimate dream job of a kid who wanted adventure but didn’t want to chase a pesky college education or even complete high school (Yes, I was originally a drop out). My third concussion took place at base Petawawa, where my infantry platoon was taught the skills to fight with and shoot various weapons, survive in different climates, and unarmed hand-to-hand combat. I received an agonizing concussion from a size 10 combat boot to the head during one of our unarmed combat classes. But I dared not mention such an injury to my superiors as I may have had to restart training or worse, deemed unsuitable for service if the injury was considered too serious. So, in true army fashion, I took large amounts of ibuprofen to help relieve the headaches and “soldiered on”. A few weeks later, I slipped on the obstacle course and fell about 10 feet, landing on my head and was knocked unconscious. Another concussion! But this time I was admitted to the base hospital and kept two nights for observation. I was deemed suitable to continue training as I said “I felt fine”, however this was not the truth. The previous concussions were starting to cause regular headaches and since ibuprofen flows like water in the army, I merely super medicated my symptoms.
I survived the rigours of battle school and was now an infantry soldier posted to base Gagetown. During a driving course, I was standing in the back of a large tank-like vehicle and was struck by the 400lb door. I received a serious head injury and also damaged the lumbar region of my back as well as my neck. This injury was pretty serious. I recall some of what happened immediately after the injury, but not all of it. I was rushed to the base hospital and immediately knew something was wrong. The doctor kept asking me to tell him what I felt, but I felt nothing. I don’t remember much after that until I woke up in the hospital two days later. When I woke up, I had an agonizing headache. This is when I started to have some issues with mumbled speech, but only when I was tired. I partook in physio and a few months of restricted duties and before I knew it I was backat my job in the battalion.
Not long after my recovery, I was selected for a posting at a small base outside of the beautiful city of Baden-Baden, Germany. This was an amazing opportunity as you were provided with plenty of superior training and the chance to travel all over Europe. During this posting in 1992, the country of Yugoslavia had moved into a full civil war. This was a horrific war that took its toll on all the factions involved. During this time, I rattled my head numerous times - in our vehicle when driving over rough terrain and from blast explosions occurring very close to my location. I depended upon large quantities of ibuprofen and Tylenol 3’s as relief. The issue at the time was, and still to this day is: “never show you’re weak and soldier on.” This is the same with serious injuries. The mentality was: If you're deemed unfit to serve, what good are you?
In 1998, I was sent to my Infantry Section Commanders Course as a next step to becoming a promoted leader. This course is tough and has a failure rate. It was during this course that I sustained my most serious head injury. We were doing a course march with full gear and also carrying a stretcher with a team member and a heavy (~76lb) radio. When we were transporting our biggest guy on the stretcher, we slipped on ice. I fell face first and the radio also hit me in the head. However, I shook it off - I just want to finish the course, get promoted, and advance up the ranks.
About a day later I started getting nose bleeds and periods of temporary blindness. I would hold my section member’s shirt when we did our morning runs as I didn’t want to fall while running when I lost my sight. It wasn’t until three days later when I marched past a senior officer without saluting that anyone noticed anything wrong with me. At that point I was rushed to the base hospital and later to the hospital in Saint John, where I was in a coma for six weeks. It took about a year or so to start to feel normal again, but some things never felt the same. Later in my career I applied to switch to the air force and to join the elite task force, but both times I was denied due to my history of concussions.
Upon being honourably released from a 25 year career in the army, I went into law enforcement. I loved working in a team setting - the camaraderie, teamwork and serving a purpose. I was driving home from a night shift when my car collided with a deer and I hit my head against the side of my car. This concussion was the straw that broke the camel's back. The symptoms lasted much longer than any previous concussion. The headaches, nausea, vision issues, and my short term memory were all but depleted. My fatigue was so bad that I was prescribed medicine to keep me awake.
I now deal with migraines regularly, have balance issues, poor night vision and my fatigue is still pretty bad. My wife is a great resource for encouragement and advice. She has been patient and supportive, especially when I am frustrated. I’ve also relied upon my sense of humour to cope with my frustration. My family doctor has credited my progress to the fact that I don’t smoke, I rarely drink alcohol and I get plenty of sleep.
The idea to donate my brain was brought to my attention by a fellow veteran and old long time old friend. It was literally no brainer” (pun intended). If my donation can assist in any way, shape or form towards research, then I am leaving a little piece of me to perhaps enlighten others. Maybe it can provide some insight to the damage caused by military head injury and help other veterans and soldiers. I hope my brain donation is valuable - even in the most minuscule way - to bring some help somewhere. I figure it’s a way for me to give back to society, in return for what society has given to me.
Sincerely,
Chris McNee CD1
Sgt (retired)